MY ONGOING BATTLE
As previously explained, I suffered from Ulcerative Colitis for 6 years of my teenage and young adult life. During this time I trialed endless medications to control the painful and ongoing symptoms and was hospitalized often. Eventually I became desperate enough to move forward with 3 major abdominal surgeries to remove the diseased part of my intestines. Unfortunately I was re-diagnosed with Crohns Disease only 4 months after my final surgery, which was completely devastating. This meant that the disease which for 6 years was strictly confined to my large intestines had now progressed to my small intestines. Alas, the battle was not over...it had only just begun....
WHAT A PAIN IN THE BUTT
After the Crohns diagnosis, I opted for a medication called Humira. Ironically I had previously avoided this drug with all of my being...so much so that I actually chose to have 6 feet of my guts amputated over it. Oh well, the injections fixed up the ulcers. Yet after the Crohns symptoms ceased, I dealt with an unknown BUTT pain for the next 2 1/2 years. The general diagnosis doctors came up with was "post surgical pain", and the specific diagnosis was assumed to be "chronic pouchitis". Doctors couldn't figure out why I was hurting so badly. I soldiered on with life, by the grace of the Lord, moment by moment, day by day (and had an emotional breakdown at least once per week).
ENCOUNTERS WITH A DEADLY INFECTION
I was perpetually taking antibiotics during the years after surgery, which for some odd reason reduced the pain. After several years on antibiotics, they became less effective and the pain got worse. An even worse problem developed when I stopped taking them: C-diff. C-diff can be life-threatening. (Side note- the fact that I even got this infection was extremely odd because a person without a colon technically shouldn't be able to get it!) I guess I'm just special? I got C-diff not once, but twice!...which means I'm twice as special?? The infection(s) cleared up after taking a special medication. Yet the mysterious butt pain returned again. UGH.
CAUGHT IN A CATCH 22
The internal butt pain was debilitating. I could hardly make it through a day at work! I needed to buy myself some time to come up with a solution, so I decided to take Prednisone (oral steroids) for a month. This gave me temporary relief, but I was freaking out about the fact that I was caught in a catch 22: If I took antibiotics, my butt pain could be lessened...but the antibiotics would likely cause recurring C-diff infections, which could kill me. I felt like I had to choose between 1. Live in pain or 2. Die in comfort. After my recent experences with C-diff, I decided I did NOT want to go back to long-term antibiotic therapy again.
VSL#3 PROBIOTIC THERAPY
I started taking a special super probiotic for colon-less people during that time called VSL#3. Why is it called VSL#3? I don't know. I often wonder what happened to VSL#1 and 2. Haha. In the past I'd taken VSL#3, but only for short periods of time. I'd read in online forums that probiotics take several weeks to change gut flora for the better. This logic made sense to me because I knew I'd wiped out all beneficial bacteria in my gut from years of antibiotics. Thus I decided to give VSL#3 another try. Four weeks later, it was also time to come off the steroids. I was so nervous, but astonishingly the mysterious butt pain didn't return! I kept expecting pain to come back and knock me off my feet again, but it didn't! Long story short: People with gut issues ought to take these pills! I'd bet money they won't be any worse off for it. After several months of taking VSL#3, I feel like a different person! I'm not cringing in pain like I used to. WHAT!! For the first time in a very long time I can say my health is relatively stable. This has been my prayer for almost 8 years! I am never going to stop taking VSL#3.
NERVOUS AND THANKFUL
Truthfully I am fearful of the next giant medical downfall in my life. If living on this roller coaster has taught me anything, its that after I reach the top of the ride, a downhill plummet is coming up fast. I've essentially been trained by my circumstances to be on my guard when anything good begins to happen. And I HATE that. Yet I am so thankful each day that I am able to live without overwhelming pain. Its amazing to be able to do "boring" stuff like go to work! Let me be clear, I do still have other minor J-pouch issues, but those issues are manageable in comparison. All the crap I've been through has landed me in a place of gratefulness towards God for His grace.
Oh the times I've listened to this song, tears in my eyes, singing along...
"Holding on, its gonna take some time, But I will love you through the horror and lies, Arm in arm through the darkest night, I will love you and
"Holding on, its gonna take some time, But I will love you through the horror and lies, Arm in arm through the darkest night, I will love you and
eternity's mine."
My friends, when life gets flipped upside down 27,000 times, leaving you dizzy and confused, HOLD ON. When nothing makes sense and nobody has the answers, when it seems there's no way out, TAKE HEART. The Lord is faithful, He is good, He will take our nightmares and work them out for a greater purpose.
My friends, when life gets flipped upside down 27,000 times, leaving you dizzy and confused, HOLD ON. When nothing makes sense and nobody has the answers, when it seems there's no way out, TAKE HEART. The Lord is faithful, He is good, He will take our nightmares and work them out for a greater purpose.
