Roid Rage

Well I am back on steroids to help with pain and inflammation in my guts. Prednisone is the name of this pill, which is a commonly prescribed drug for IBD, Colitis, Crohn's. Wonderful drug - terrible side effects. I've been on and off this medication too many times to count. The side effects are very individualized - each person experiences different side effects. Some people are less lucky than others with how their body responds to it. For example, some people gain a ton of weight from being on it and some actually people get hallicinations from high doses!

Here are the side effects that I am lucky enough to get:

1. Mood swings – difficulty controlling emotions. I call this “Roid Rage”. Oh, like PMS or Menopausal irritability? Not quite. For example, a beeping alarm clock in the morning- I literally get the urge to chuck it at a brick wall. Simple things that I would normally just shrug off make me FURY filled. If I am not in the mood to talk, it becomes CRYSTAL clear to everyone around me that I just want to be left ALONE. BIG apology here to both my mother and husband, who have both had to endure the effects of roid rage...

2. Hyperactivity - A constant feeling of jitteriness. Energy bursts that last all day and all night. Like electricity running through your veins. Imagine going on a long run, with the feeling of your heart jumping out of your chest, and then that feeling doesn't go away.

3. Sleeplessness – Boy, this one is a real surprise, seeing as I can't get my heart rate to slow down! Insomnia takes on a new meaning when its your own body sabotaging your sleep schedule. For the record - sleep deprivation and hyperactivity are NOT a good combination.

4. Puffy face – My lymph nodes become swollen and I turn into a PUFFER FISH! Nobody likes to look 300 pounds in photographs, even if they weigh just over 100 pounds. Here's one of the few pictures I still have of myself when I had my "jowls" (and yes, that is a marshmallow peep smashed to the side of my face- DUH)

5. Sore joints. Suddenly sitting Cris-Cross Applesauce is not an option if I want to be able to walk the next day!

6. Sensitive teeth – Ice cold water? Hot cocoa? Ice cream? Ow, ow and ow.

7. Hair growth, followed by hair loss...because that makes total sense!? Nothing quite like asking your groom to shave your back...yeah... Then once I'm almost tapered off roids, my head hair falls out in CLUMPS. Every day I brush my hair, and I could make a wig for a Barbie doll.To this day, I could have an entire Barbie doll ARMY from my own unintentionally lost 'roid hair'. (Insert regret here...) Side note- I am convinced this is what led to my disgust of people's hair (and my own) - also why I tend to chop mine off on a regular basis. Hair=gross, haha. 

8. Hot flashes – I went to college in Bemidji, Minnesota and I must say that northern MN has got to be the coldest place on earth in the winter. It was -30 to -50 on a regular basis and yet I was sweating profusely in a t-shirt. I remember having to get up and leave class often to go outside and allow the freezing wind chill to bring relief to my skin.

9. Anxiety / Nervousness- Remember that constant feeling of jitteriness I mentioned? Well it comes with a buddy! A increased feeling of stress in every day situations!

10. Blurred vision – I usually don't need to wear my glasses for much of any reason, but while on Prednisone, I suddenly have trouble reading things, this laptop screen, etc...

11. Lowered immune response- Thank you, every sick person who's ever come into work, leaving me no fighting chance against your bacteria ridden breath! NOT ;) 

...And so this sums up my brief rant on the 'ol roid rage. I just listed short term, minor side effects that it has on me. Long term the roids pretty much destroy your body from the inside out, causing cataracts and decreased bone density, just to name a few. 

So thank you, steroids, for making me CRAZY and ever more fragile!

 Seriously though Prednisone, I know we've had this "on and off" relationship for the past 6 or 7 years and I know we've been through a lot. You've done some helpful things for my sickly body, but overall, you've made me into a terrible person- An irrational, emotional GRUMP. I meant it when I said “goodbye” last January, but you just can't seem to get over me.