Burning The Candle At Both Ends

Its a lifestyle choice, often made my mistake. For whatever reason, people end up doing this to themselves. Whether by over-committing, working to stay afloat financially, trying to please people or just failing to appropriately manage time, it happens. When people do this they end up tired, without energy, and yet pushing themselves continually beyond their limits. They burn their lives to the ground before they realize it, and don't slow down until something MAKES them. I have been guilty of doing this from time to time in my own life.

“GET AHEAD OR PLAY CATCH UP”

For me I think it happens because I'm constantly trying to find balance between carrying on with a normal-ish life while living in unwanted chaos. Also due to the fact that I'm usually stuck between “playing catch-up” and “get ahead” financially. Its pretty easy to fall behind on bills when you are really sick, hospitalized, etc... Due to this fact, I've taught myself to work when able. Sadly enough I've learned to push through feeling crummy to keep fuel in the gas tank. I've continually had to work hard to save up for the next time I fall apart. The lesson I've learned is to get ahead, before the next time comes when I fall behind. Side note- It really sucks to try to get ahead while health is going downhill and there's nothing to be done to stop it! Its a stupid cycle, but with a chronic health condition, its reality. Anywho, finance is only one contributing factor in my candle burning at both ends.

BUSYNESS

Another partial contributor to my candles getting low is busyness... Here's a quick preview of how my week goes. Four days a week I work at my desk job. On surgery days I'm usually there 10 hours. Tuesday nights are busy with bible study and Wednesday nights I help out with a youth group. Weekends I wait tables at my other job and Sunday is church. Somewhere mixed in there I try to find time to hang out with friends, and my husband, etc. After all my responsibilities I have one day a week left to relax. Until recently I was also working on my day off as well. I was exhausting myself without ever realizing it. 

ACHOO!

Like I said, people usually over-do it until something happens and makes them slow down. For me that was last week. I caught a nasty cold, which took my voice for a few days and kept me home from work. So maybe it takes a nasty virus to help me remember to take it easy. We aren't meant to be able to go-go-go for seven days straight, week after week, month after month. I've been trying to remember to only do what I am called to do and know its okay to say no to everything else. Its funny people often say, “Take care of yourself.”, but don't seem to mean it. Yes, they want you well, but also want you to be involved with all these things. ATTENTION: My candle is meant to be a light to other people, but I better not be burning it at both ends, or I will have no candle left to burn!

SABBATH

The Bible tells us that in 6 days God created the heavens and the earth and on the 7^th day He rested from all His work. He took a break and chilled out. He did this not because He was tired, but to set an example for us to follow. He knew mankind's limitations. He know that if we didn't allow ourselves down time to recharge, the outcome would not be good. “Sabbath" simply means "holy day", or a day of rest, set aside to honor the Lord. A day of rest and worship? --sounds awesome! He gave me this command because He loves me! Yet I often forget that He created this for my own benefit, so I don't burn out. The bummer part is, I forget this like every week. I commit to things I don't have time for, compulsively organize, etc, and forget to take a Sabbath day.

MY SWEET ESCAPE 
As this song by Run Kid Run says, God longs to fuel the fire beneath these tired bones! His presence is a refuge I CAN'T create.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc2xYWRHixA

Am I allowing myself to run back to Him? Or am I just burning my candle by both ends, week after week? Gotta protect that "set aside day" and soak up that day of rest!

"You Are Strong"

THE COMPARING GAME

People often compare their own trials side by side to mine, and I must say I really DISLIKE that! They say things like, “What I'm dealing with is nothing like what you've been through.”... as if they're demeaning their own struggles. People, take me off that pedestal and stop and holding my difficulties above yours, please! I am glad to offer a little perspective, but in no way do I want to minimize what my friends and family go through! Just because something is “minor” does NOT automatically make it an easy thing to go through! We are all given our own battles to fight in life. Let's all just remember that we're here to encourage each other along the way. =) So if you have a bad day, and I ask about it, I actually want to know. I'm not going to be like, “Oh reeeeally? You wanna hear about a real bad day?”...and then go off on some random tangent about crap I've been through. No, I promise I won't.

AWKWARD COMMENTS

I think that when people make certain comments, they're really meaning something different. For example, “I couldn't handle going through what you've been dealt.” - People have said this to me often. I appreciate the compliment, but honestly I don't know how to respond when someone says this to me. It feels super awkward! I am always tempted to respond with, “Yes, you could because you would have to!” Haha! Seriously, when some big health issue pops up in life, you either step up or check out. Period. I think what people really mean is that they would never WANT to have to go through all I've been through. And I do agree...given the choice, I'd take a free ride down the healthy road of life too! =)

Another comment I get a lot is, “Oh, I sure know I couldn't live like that.” -referring to the way I eat. (low sugar, low fiber, no fried foods, no gluten, etc...) Again, I think what people are really saying when they make these comments is that they would never WANT to live this way. I must say though that when you are faced with either doing something or being in constant pain/hospitalized, the choice becomes clear and there just isn't any looking back. (*Ahem* except for when everybody around you is eating pizza or your boss brings Starbucks in for everybody at work...then truth be told I feel left out, get pouty and have an internal pity party.) Haha

“YOU ARE STRONG”

Some people seem to be under the impression that all my struggles have made me some type of super hero or something. (Yes, I've been known to wear a cape snowboarding, but that's beside the point.) I hope anyone who's ever seen me try to actually lift a weight can find humor in the photo below...

Although I've been through quite a bit of turmoil and I'm still standing, that doesn't make me strong.  Yes, my trials have definitely refined my character. They've taught me perspective. I know better who: my identity is found in the Lord. Please let it be known that HE has been the source of my strength. So in all reality, its more like this:

Glory to God for every resolve, every answer to prayer and every single ounce of spring in my step! I am just a sinner, holding onto God's hand through whatever comes my way. When tragedy hits, we can either run TO or away FROM God. Jesus definitely provided what I've lacked on my journey and enabled me to carry on when I was ready to throw in the towel. When I was weak He gave me His strength to press on. He is the One who keeps wind in my sails and keeps my boat afloat. Christ has never left my side through all life's distress. I know that some people might think that being dependent on somebody else would make a person weak. With the King of kings though, its different. Its freeing to rely on the One who invites us to bring Him our burdens and carries them for us with such ease.

A GUY NAMED PAUL

The Apostle Paul was plagued by “a thorn in his flesh”. This thorn was some sort of hindrance, which caused anguish. Paul asked God many times to take it away. The Lord's response to Paul's plea? - "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:9) Paul eventually grew to view the thorn's presence as a way of keeping him humble- of remembering he can't do life on his own. “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:10) Paul had figured out that when he was at the end of himself, he was relying on God's power. 

EMERGENCY ACCESS ONLY?

I went on a walk the other day and came across this sign. BTW its incredible the number of times the Lord has spoke to my heart through street signs...Anyway this sign really got me thinking:It is far too often that mankind only seeks God when life is in shambles. Often when we are at our lowest of lows, we cry out to the Creator. We want Him to come rescue us from our misery, patch our life up and take away the pain. That's all good stuff, because the Lord REALLY loves us and wants to be our Helper. However, if that's the only time we are reaching out for His hand, then what's the point? What's the point of asking God for His help and then once everything is all peachy keen, forget about Him??  Seriously, how sad! Its almost as if we don't take God seriously...or at least we take Him only seriously enough to believe Him in times of crisis, but not in times of peace. How quickly we forget the One who saved us. 

WAITING WITH OPEN ARMS

We think we can handle life on our own if we just keep our chin up. We are strong enough, smart enough, etc, right? In all actuality, maybe we can keep that up for a while, but sooner of later, our world comes crashing down. And guess who's still there, non-judgmentally, waiting with open arms... I am so glad we don't have to walk this life alone! God will love us no less whether we choose to walk AWAY or walk WITH Him, but doesn't the choice seem obvious?

I thank God for the consistency of His character, despite all the inconsistency of mine!

Charlie Hall's "Brightness" 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L9MBqUTbUrw