Surgery #2 - ileoanal anastomosis and proctectomy

I almost had to postpone my second surgery because of a lingering sinus cold that would not seem to end. I was about a week away from surgery and becoming nervous that it might be a sinus infection. If it had been an infection, the rest of my surgeries would have to be pushed even further out. This would have affected many things in my life. I would have had to change my wedding date - AGAIN, I would have to wait even longer to go back to work, etc… Thankfully the cold was wrapping itself up just in time! The fact that I almost had to postpone surgery actually gave me a fresh perspective. Instead of dreading it the entire time, I was grateful for it to arrive! My heart felt sick when I thought I’d have to postpone, and so relieved when I could proceed!

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” -Proverbs 13:12

Side note- catching a cold when your abs have just been stitched up is ROUGH. I avoided friends and family with colds like the plague and for good reason! Imagine all the sneezing and coughing that accompany a cold...now imagine that while your abs are healing up from surgery. Super fun? - Yeah, NO. Thankfully I caught that cold near the end of my healing for my abs, so it wasn't as bad as it could have been! I was always SO paranoid though that I would catch a cold right after surgery and bust all my stitches out! Even still, coughing and sneezing gave my sore abs a very special kind of work out!

FEBRUARY 17, 2012

Ileo-anal anastomosis and proctectomy – fancy wording for J-pouch construction and rectum removal. My rectum was diseased from Colitis, so it had to go too. (For those who don't know - the rectum is the very end of the colon; it is not the anus though.) The surgeons constructed a "J-pouch" or as I call it, a "make-shift colon" from my small intestines, which would hold my waste and eliminate the need for the external ileostomy bag. However, before I would be hooked up to my newly designed plumbing, I had to wait for it to heal up. This meant 12 more weeks of living with the ileostomy bag. At least at this point I had experience to draw from!

A BRUSH WITH DEATH

I was told to expect that surgery #2 would be the worst of them all. Therefore going into it, I knew it wouldn't be a cake walk, but I didn't expect such a close brush with death either! The surgery itself went well, but once they took me back to my hospital room, I became extremely nauseous and started vomiting. Things only got worse from there...

I remember feeling wet all over my stomach and back and asking confusedly, “Why am I all wet?? The nurses pulled the sheets back and OH SURPRISE, I was covered in my own bright, red blood! Yes, it was I (the drugged patient with little awareness) that made the discovery that I was bleeding through a drainage tube in my stomach. They cleaned me up, and kept a watchful eye on me. My drainage tube kept filling up over and over. I lost a scary amount of blood, my blood pressure dropped super low and everyone became increasingly concerned for me. I was becoming extremely pale and disoriented. On top of that my reality was also becoming mixed with hallucinations. At one point I was staring and giggling at a BLANK TV screen saying, “Oooooh, the clouds are SOOO pretty!”

EYES AS HEAVY AS BOWLING BALLS

I never knew my eyes could be so heavy! Each eye lid felt as if it weighed 50 pounds! I literally had to pry my eye lids open to see anything in the room. I could barely see straight. One time I caught a blurred glimpse of 8-10 worried doctors and nurses gathered in my room. Their words didn't make much sense to me; it was all a jumbled mess to my confused brain. I also remember seeing Jim eating pizza. Mmm, pizza. =]

TRANSFUSIONS AND TUBES

The doctors ordered plasma and blood transfusions for me; 5 bags total. So instead of sleeping after surgery, I received transfusions throughout the middle of the night! Not that I could have slept anyway though…because after you get your rectum removed, you have a drainage tube IN YOUR BUTT. I knew about this drainage tube beforehand, but it literally felt like a knife up in there!! It must have been the way it was positioned, or the fact that I was sitting and laying on it, but I was in constant agony from it! That one night felt like DAYS to me. Time could not have gone by any slower.  By morning I was asking Jesus just to take me home. I was fed up and exhausted from being in constant pain.

There's a song by Jack's Mannequin, “Swim”, which held special meaning to me in this time. I couldn't have summed up any better how I was feeling. Take a listen...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sA8PaIw5gcE

“You've gotta swim, swim for your life. Swim for the music that saves you when you're not so sure you'll survive. You gotta swim and swim when it hurts. The whole world is watching, you haven't come this far to fall off the earth. The currents will pull you away from your love. Just keep your head above.... I swim for brighter days despite the absence of sun, choking on salt water. I'm not giving in, I swim.” 

My fiancee promised me that things would get better. Overnight I went from a pale, white ghost with sunken eyes, to getting my color and life back! 

To everyone who has ever donated blood or plasma: THANK YOU!!!

Here is a picture of me, holding the drainage tube+ ball that were coming out of my tummy for a few days. I joked about it being a grenade...

TUBES OUT

The bleeding let up after a few days, in which case they finally removed the drainage tube from my stomach. Good thing too because my hip bone was getting sore from that stupid plastic tube rubbing on it! When they took the draining tube out of my stomach, it felt STRANGE. I only allowed my favorite doctor the honor of removing it. First he snipped a couple stitches that were holding it in place, then 1-2-ready?-deep breath-YANK! There is no feeling that compares to a long tube, probably a couple feet in length, being whipped out from your body. Again, WEIRD. I yelped when he took it out, and then I cried. The doctor, asked me, “Are you mad at me now?” I was NOT happy, but I was relieved to have that stupid tube out! 

By the way... weird medical junk+ sleep deprivation+ narcotics = emotional breakdowns. Everything becomes super dramatic and anxiety attacks can come without warning.

Although surgery #2 wasn't as smooth as I imagined, Jesus carried me through that wasteland of death and into the land of the living. I survived, I kept on swimming and I was reminded that God provides strength to the weary. 

By the way that is the meaning behind the wings in my ankle...

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." -Isaiah 40:29-31