Surgery #1 - Subtotal Colectomy

In the Fall of 2011, I was having another bad flare of Ulcerative Colitis. I was I was rushing to the bathroom 30 times a day and was nearly anemic from the bleeding ulcers in my colon. Since food shot right through me, my body wasn't able to absorb any nutrients that it needed. On top of that, I hadn't slept for literally weeks because my guts felt like they were on FIRE. I was tired, weak, frail and empty. I felt like a walking GHOST. More than that, I was out of options for treatment. I'd tried all the reasonable medicines to help with the condition, and was again on the verge of hospitalization. I made the decision I’d always feared- surgery- permanent removal of my large intestines. Surgery is the only known “cure” for Ulcerative Colitis. I was pretty shook up for a few days after I made my decision, mentally as well as physically. It’s hard to keep your cool when your body feels like its on fire and your life is slowly burning to the ground. However, after a while of freaking out, I realized I was actually excited to get my stupid colon out!

TO THE MAYO!

I also decided that if I was going to go through with this, I would want the Mayo Clinic to do it. Since I live in Montana, this meant I would travel across a few states to get there. I will say this about The Mayo Clinic: they make you jump through A LOT of hoops before they will touch you, but once you are finished jumping their hoops, they take AWESOME care of you. I won’t re-live all the extraneous tests I had to comply with prior to surgery. Let’s just say I drank a lot of radioactive, nasty tasting liquids, which made my crazy stomach extra upset. =/ A few “hoops” I jumped through: CT scan, colonoscopy, MRI, and lots of blood tests. (All tests I had recently done in MT as well...joy!) 
BTW I am a professional at chugging  nasty tasting liquids and having scopes shoved inside me! Bam!

Truly though, the Mayo Clinic has the BEST doctors and surgeons in the world. One other reason I went to the Mayo was because they would be able to do my surgeries “laproscopically” - Surgery that uses a laproscope with a video camera and surgical instruments inserted through SMALL INCISIONS. I am really proud of my scars today, but also happy that they are small-ish. Honestly, who would want to be cut any more than they need to be?! Here's me the night before surgery, marked and labeled with surgeon's initials.  

SURGERY DAY -December 8, 2011- subtotal colectomy. 

Such a blur. I checked in, waited, put on an ugly hospital gown that was 5 sizes too large, waited, got poked with needles, waited, answered a bunch of questions, waited, did some prep (I will leave this to your imagination) hint- they were about to take out my plumbing, and wanted to be sure I was truly empty- then more waiting, then finally someone came and rolled me away to the surgery room. Once they come to fetch you, there is no going back. 

Nobody gets to stay by your side to hold your shaking hands. I remember feeling so small and bare, so stripped of everything. All that remained was myself, cold white walls, and a team of surgeons who had everything but their eyes covered. Nothing was familiar, everything was uncertain. I was happy to recognize the anesthesiologist, whom I had met an hour or so before. Reality felt like a dream right before they gave me the anesthesia. I remember thinking, “Oh my gosh, this cannot be real, these people are actually going to cut me open and take my guts out??” I wanted to jump off that operating table and book it down the hallway. For the record, I didn't...

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand,” -Isaiah 40:10 - This Bible verse was repeating over and over in my mind..

I was not alone; the Lord was with me. I heard His whispers in my ear, bringing comfort to my frightened soul. He promised not to leave me and He helped me remember to breathe. Before I knew it, I was given a spinal tap to dull the coming surgery pains, then the anesthesia, and then I slept while they operated.

WAKE UP- IT'S GONE!

I awoke hours later in a recovery room, colon-less and groggy, but feeling much better than hours before! I think I asked the nurse at least 50 times, “When do I get to see Jim??” (my fiancee)

Once I was awake enough, they rolled me to my hospital room, where Jim and my mom were waiting to see me. I got really excited and waved like a little kid. Gosh, I wish Jim had video taped my arrival, for more than one reason. Seriously, I would pay money. 

Quotes directly after I arrived at my hospital room:

[Jim] “Did they give you some good drugs?”

[Me]  “No, not really.”

FALSE. Haha!

I apparently insisted on texting everybody I knew and letting them know that I survived. I would pay money to see those texts. I also made some calls to friends and family, none of which I remember.

[Me to Jim] “You have to leave the room, so you don't see my butt.”

The nurses used a special machine to lift me from the mobile table-bed to my hospital bed and I was really concerned that Jim might catch a glimpse of my naked butt through the drafty hospital gown!

[Me] “There are mountains on my door.”

[Nurse] “Its for the doctor.”

[Me] “Whatever, its because I'm from Montana.” 

I really was convinced that they put those mountains there for me!

LESSON #1 – Oxycodone makes Kelsie crazy.

The deal with narcotics is that they work well for pain, but either tend to make a person insane or vomit. Or both. I was blessed that they didn't make me sick. I did become super giggly, which was a massive problem, since I'd just had my abs sliced through and stitched back together!

LESSON #2 - Laughter is not always the best medicine.
Laughing causes pain--> which causes crying--> which causes more pain and more crying, etc. Vicious cycle.

I got really mad at Jim once because he was 'making me laugh', when all he was doing was eating a sandwich!

LESSON #3 - Drugged Kelsie's sense of time is clearly skewed.

The doctors wanted me to get some food in my stomach right after surgery. (Since anesthesia puts a halt on normal body functions, the food would encourage my small intestines to wake up.) The nurse only took about a minute to bring me some toast, but to me it felt like FOREVER. Yelling with tears in my eyes I cried, “How does it take TEN MINUTES to make TOAST?!?”

LESSON #4 - Anesthesia can take a looong time to wear off. 
Here's one more thing the anesthesia affects - the bladder. Although I was aware that I would take up with a catheter in after surgery, I was not warned that it could take literally days for my bladder to turn back on...

[Jim] - "I've never been so happy to hear another person peeing."
hahaha! I was rewarded with a My Little Pony Sticker for my success! 

ANATOMY CHECK

Atop my temporary mental instability from the narcotics, I now faced the reality that my small intestines came out through my stomach. The ostomy nurses walk you through everything before surgery, so you know what to expect. Honestly though, how prepared can a person really be to face the 'red knob' of intestines that comes out of one's own stomach?? I remember not wanting to look at, or touch, or have anything to do with the poo sack stuck to me. Regardless of how I felt, the ostomy bag was now a part of me. The shock faded fairly quickly, and I learned to care for my ostomy, but it was SO weird at first! Living with an ostomy has its frustrations, but it was a whole lot better than living with a busted colon!

One last memory that shall never fade away from my brain is getting out of bed after having abdominal surgery. First of all we use our ab muscles for just about everything. Mine had just been sliced through and stapled together. It took 2 extra people to help me sit up the first time. I can still remember the strange feeling of my guts shifting inside of me. 
Sloshy - that would be the word to describe the feeling. I would experience this weird shifting feeling every time that I got out of bed for the next month or so. 

Surprisingly the nurses had me up and walking within an hour after surgery (with Jim's support). I walked to the door way and back! (where I found my mountains). Walking was encouraged because the more walking a person physically does, the quicker they will heal.

Jim and I with my Christmas/surgery gnome
(a lovely gift from my [now] mother in law!)

I guess that sums up the majority of my memories from my 1st surgery, or at least the stuff I thought to be noteworthy. Moral of the story- Surgery was scary, but the Lord Jesus Christ provided me with the strength to endure.