J-Pouch Diet

What types of food does a person with a J-pouch eat?? (By the way, if you have no clue what a "J-pouch" is, you can click here --> J POUCH <--to read my blog about my special guts.) While I cannot speak for everyone who lives without their large intestines, I can speak for myself. There are a few things I've learned during the past 16 months since my Takedown surgery. I am sad to report that the diet I previously followed with Ulcerative Colitis is painstakingly similar to the diet I follow now. My eating patterns are similar in the sense that I eat a fair amount of bland foods, while avoiding foods that are difficult to digest. With that said, here's my guidelines for eating in the "No Colon Club". (By the way membership into this elite club requires taxing pain and trauma to the body, often accompanied by but not limited to emotional and physical scars.)  

DO NOT CONSUME/USE EXTREME CAUTION:

*FRIED FOODS - Eating foods that were fried in oil is like drinking pure grease. Fried food=upset stomach. Every now and then I get the intense craving for greasy fried food, but man, I pay for it later. The only fried food I've found to be an exception is fries. Perhaps because they're awesomely starchy, they don't seem to cause problems when I eat them! Yay fries!

*SPICY FOOD - The reasoning I avoid spicy is different from when I lived with Colitis. With Colitis, my colon got ticked off by curry pepper, and consuming often lead to throbbing guts and upset stomach. However, the reason I don't eat cayenne pepper now is because of something called "butt burn", a common problem with J-pouchers. Sometimes the very fire of hell feels like its exiting out my butt. No thank you! Tabasco and yummy jalapenos are out for this chica! =(

*PIZZA SAUCE/TOMATO PASTE - One of the colon's jobs was to help make food less acidic. Unfortunately without my colon, I don't get that benefit anymore. After affect=butt burn. The flavor of pizza isn't worth the toll, which completely sucks because pizza was always my favorite food!!! Oh well, I'm adjusting to having pizzaza made with olive oil instead. 

For the record, Ketchup is somehow different, and causes no problems. Probably because its made of mostly corn syrup/AKA sugar. =D

*JUICE - Although it can be harmless in small doses, it can be a HUGE problem when consumed with even average consumption. For example, last week I bought an 8 oz bottle of Orange/Pineapple Juice that I chose to drink with my "thickening dinner" (lots of bread). Guess who endured 2 days of diarrhea? Yeah, don't go there. If you know anything about fruit juice, you know its mostly sugar. Both naturally occurring sugar and science crafted sugar are both bad news bears for the small gut. 

*MILK -  Drinking a small glass of this calcium rich beverage could produce enough gas to fill a balloon with air! That being said, I prefer almond milk as my cereal accompaniment.

*CARBONATED BEVERAGES - i.e. soda/pop. Its made of bubbles, and bubbles it remains. AKA it causes tremendous gas and discomfort! When I think about drinking soda, I envision filling my guts up with tons and tons of tiny air bubbles; subsequently I change my mind!

*RAW VEGETABLES -  i.e. lettuce/carrots. No matter how thoroughly veggies are chewed, without a colon to help break down the enzymes, they will hardly become any more digested than before they were swallowed. Roughage is just that...ROUGH. 

*MUSHROOMS - Although its a raw veggie, it deserves a point of its own. Mushrooms are at the top of the list of gas producing foods. Stay AWAY. 

*BEANS - Do I even need to explain this one? No. (By the way, green beans are a different story, see cooked veggies below...) 

*SEEDS/BERRIES - Leave these for the birds!  Dried fruit and seeds will hardly get digested.

*NUTS - Of all the things not to eat, this is the worst. The reason they're at the bottom of my list is because I NEVER EVER EAT THEM, because they are PURE EVIL!

 ...and now that I have put that disturbing image in your head, you hopefully will never forget how truly evil nuts are! No matter how well you chew, without a colon, you will still poop gravel. Owwww! Take it from someone who learned the hard way, you truly need large intestines to bother with these. (Okay, eating peanuts on a Snickers bar is not the end of the world, just don't eat 1/2 a loaf of almond bread, like I did.  :O

Please understand that these foods are not actually forbidden, but I do try to follow these general guidelines myself. If I decide to eat something stupid, I try to do it on a day when I know I'll be in the comfort of my own home that evening. 

EAT SPARINGLY:

*FRESH FRUITS+VEGGIES - Admittedly, I do eat cucumbers and pickles and tomatoes, but I limit my intake. Here's the annoying thing about tomatoes though: the skin doesn't get digested. Being the genius weird-o that I am, I peel my tomatoes and throw away the skin. Strawberries seem to be fine, but raspberries are made mostly of seeds, are not as favorable with the pouch. 

*Cheese - I was told by Mayo Clinic that this protein rich, constipating food would be my new best friend. Although cheese is helpful because it bulks, I eat it sparingly and try not to get too carried away. (As with most dairy products, gas is a side effect.)

*Brown rice - Fibrous AKA hard to digest. 

****A huge help I've found in tolerating "problem foods" is something called Beano. These tablets are made from natural enzymes that prevent gas.

I know its sounds fake, but after Takedown surgery, I suffered from almost everything I ate. Once I stumbled upon this amazing helper, I could tolerate eating food a lot easier. I take 3 tablets right before the first bite of food. I do this before just about every snack or meal I eat. There's also a chewable version for people that have trouble swallowing pills. And for the record, Beano works great for people with their colon too! Pre-surgeries, I used to take Beano before eating re-fried beans and it really did help!**** 

SAFE/HAPPY FOODS:

*BREAD - regular 'ol white bread is best. (Avoid fibrous/whole wheat breads.)

*RICE - White, Minute Rice or Long grain is terrific.  

*NOODLES - Egg noodles, spaghetti noodles, Shells, etc! 

*BANANAS - Starchy and sticky again. AND they actually absorb acidity! Yay! A defensive opponent to the dreaded butt burn. So if you must eat pizza, eat a banana with it. Pizza+bananas=yum??

*POTATOES- mashed, baked, boiled. Any way you like them! When I had my ileostomy, these were my best food friend, and they still are... BFF potatoes! 

*POULTRY- Chicken and turkey are both easy to digest. Plus these meats are a good source of protein. 

RAWR, DINOSAUR CHICKENS!!

*COOKED VEGETABLES - Sauteed in olive oil, steamed, boiled or cooked in the oven. As long as they're cooked until they're no longer crunchy, they're tolerable for the guts. They don't have to be "squishy", but the better cooked they are, they easier they are to digest. Some of my favorites to cook are yellow squash and zucchini. 

Please note that I eat a lot of other foods besides the "safe" foods listed. Those are just the most common basic foods that I build my meals upon. Most of these foods are starchy and sticky, which are very good things for people in the No-Colon Club! I guess to sum up the majority of what I eat, I would say a lot of sandwiches, rice dishes, pasta dishes, stir-fry, and casseroles. And I'm totally okay with all those delicious meals by the way. =)

Alright, now maybe I won't get as many questions from everybody about what I can and cannot eat? If you're like me, treat what's left of your guts nicely!