HOW IT ALL WENT
DOWN...
After my final
surgery, I had a lot of pain following my recovery. I blamed the pain
on all the logical things I had been warned about by doctors. Things
like “You will have pain for quite a few months after surgery.”I believed things like, “This is normal”. The
problem was the fact that everything I was experiencing was NOT
normal...
LOOSE STAPLE?
I realized
something was most definitely wrong about 3 months after my final
surgery. Sorry if this is too descriptive: I was having very sharp,
pinpoint pain in my anus. I was fairly certain that one of the
staples that surgeons had used to attach my J-pouch was breaking
free. I could conjure up no other explanation for what felt so
horrible and knife-like!
HEAR MY CRY!
After many phone
calls to my doctors, I eventually convinced them to do something
about it. Side note-I think that after all I've been through, I
should be able to tell when something is NOT right with my own body,
right?? I was frantic and doctors wouldn't seem to take me seriously!
I remember literally being in tears explaining my pain to the nurses,
and just being blown off and told to wait until the following week.
It took a compassionate receptionist to take pity on my situation
before anything was done to help me. *Ahem* Attention all Nurses-
don't ever, EVER lose the love and empathy for patients, pretty
please? =)
My doctors
finally ordered a scope of my small intestines.
When I say “scope”, I refer to a colonoscopy or a sigmoidoscopy. Both are very
unpleasant procedures where a camera tube thing is shoved up the anus
to map the landscape. Sometimes they put you under and and sometimes
you are awake. (I always opt for sleepy time.) Oh, and I know the
Endoscopy guys at the Billings Clinic by name. Kim is the coolest. =)
Process of a
scope:
*Drink insane amounts of a laxative beverage and/or use enemas to empty out the guts. Both prep work leave your butt raw. =/ Super cool, fun, adult stuff. Jealous?
*A little camera goes up the back entrance ;) and navigates the intestines, pausing every so often to take pictures and/or samples for biopsies.
*There is an air blower thingy that goes ahead of the camera. Imagine a leaf blower, inside your butt. Teehee. After the procedure, the person is filled up with air. A person wakes up groggy and gassy. Hooray.
*Drink insane amounts of a laxative beverage and/or use enemas to empty out the guts. Both prep work leave your butt raw. =/ Super cool, fun, adult stuff. Jealous?
*A little camera goes up the back entrance ;) and navigates the intestines, pausing every so often to take pictures and/or samples for biopsies.
*There is an air blower thingy that goes ahead of the camera. Imagine a leaf blower, inside your butt. Teehee. After the procedure, the person is filled up with air. A person wakes up groggy and gassy. Hooray.
Note-When a person has Ulcerative Colitis or Crohn's Disease, having a scope done becomes routine. I've endured quite a few, between colonoscopies, sigmoidoscopies and pouchoscopies. I have a collective total of at least NINE.
ULCER
The scope
revealed an ULCER inside of me. You see, this was pretty
disconcerting news, since I'd just rid myself of a condition called
ULCERative Colitis. I'd had my guts removed, cut out, rearranged and
stapled back inside of me to get rid of autoimmune disease, and now
THIS???
It was one tiny
little ulcer, the size of a kernel of corn. It hurt so terribly
either because #1. It sat directly on a nerve ending (or) #2. Was on
the junction where my J-pouch was attached to my anus. Either way it
was excruciating and going to the bathroom was a nightmare. It
felt like I was passing glass.
Anyway, this
ulcer improved a bit with time and with the help of nitroglycerin
cream -Yes, the stuff they use to make explosives- it was prescribed
for my rear end. Hmmmm?
RETURN PAIN?
A couple months later I was
experiencing the same stabbing, pinpoint pain, except at a different
location. Instead of my left side, I felt it inside the right side.
This time though, the intermittent pain was accompanied by a +100
degree fever. Couch-bound and in misery, I was forced to annoy the
doctors once again by insisting that something was awry.
ULCERSSSSS
I had another scope done, (tally
another one to the books). Much to everyone's dismay, the scope
revealed LOTS of ulcers in my small intestines. I asked the doctor,
“How many ulcers?” The response- “I lost count.” There was
also terrible inflammation in the sinus tracts of my guts. All this
strongly suggested I either had Crohn's or an infection. I was hoping
for just an infection. With all my heart.
SOMETIMES YOU JUST KNOW
While waiting to get the results back
from the biopsies they took from that scope, I had such a sinking
feeling in my heart. I could not shake it. I was still waiting for
the official results, but I already knew I had Crohns.
THE VERDICT
THE VERDICT
The results came
back with an answer a few days later. The verdict was indeed Crohn's
Disease. BOOOOO! Crushed and in dismay, I was forced to take
responsibility for my (now again) crummy health. Besides living with
the constant pain in my butt, I had to own up to the diagnosis,
investigate medicines, struggle through work and carry on.
After everything I'd been through, hearing this news was a pretty low
blow- a forceful punch in the guts. Hahaha- sorry lame pun. Seriously though,
you better believe I was upset!
LOOKING BACK
Looking back now, I am able to be thankful for a few things. Not necessarily thankful with the reality of my situation, but with the
timing of things. Yes, I'd certainly be glad not to be a “Crohn-ey”, but
God is so gracious with the way He aligns things. If you read about
my 1st and 2nd surgeries, you know I had to
have a colonoscopy prior to J-pouch construction to make sure I
didn't have
Crohn's. If a person has Crohn's, surgeons refuse to create the
J-pouch. Had there been evidence of Crohns Disease at that time, my
colon would have been removed, but I would have been stuck with the
ileostomy bag indefinitely. And if you read about my 3rd
surgery, (before they reversed my ileostomy), I had to have a
“pouchoscopy” done to make sure things looked tip top shape. That
scope showed my small intestines in “pristine condition”, not an
ulcer in view. I think the fact that this disease was masked was a
huge blessing in disguise.
There are times when we just have to
hang onto God while hanging in there! Never does He leave our side.
Sometimes we just have to wait until relief comes. One day relief
will come. “He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be
no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of
things has passed away.” -Revelation 21:4 If you know Christ as your Savior, then you also share in this promise! =D
“When it feels like we're not headed anywhere fast, I know that Your plan's in motion, like the great Pacific Ocean...”
Ruth- Miracle Photo
Things might not always make sense on this end of things, but I trust in God's goodness through the miseries of life...
I was diagnosed as HEPATITIS B carrier in 2013 with fibrosis of the
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