Choices

Fact: Sometimes in life you just have to make a decision and hope that it doesn't mean you're holding a gun to your own head. 

MXPX's "Aces Up"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NFwJtM1f3M

“Just deal the cards and hope that you get aces, And when you play your hand, put on your poker faces, Cause life just don't deal aces, You may have to bluff sometimes, You may have to bluff sometimes”

Any time I've researched Humira, I've always been creeped out by the warnings labels. It usually goes something like this...

"Warning: Serious infections have happened in people taking HUMIRA. These serious infections include TUBERCULOSIS (TB) and INFECTIONS caused by VIRUSES, FUNGI, or BACTERIA  that have spread throughout the body. Some people have DIED from these infections. HUMIRA may increase the chance of getting LYMPHOMA, including a RARE kind, or other CANCERS. HUMIRA can cause serious side effects including hepatitis B infection in carriers of the virus, allergic reactions, NERVOUS SYSTEM PROBLEMS, BLOOD PROBLEMS, HEART FAILURE, certain IMMUNE REACTIONS including a LUPUS-like syndrome, LIVER PROBLEMS, and new or worsening PSORIASIS.” 

Usually followed by some cheesy picture like this:

"You too can wash smelly dogs if you take Humira!"

Sign me up! Right? Haha! No, if you're like me, you probably read the first sentence of the warning label, cringed, and decided its bad mojo. However, my new GI doctor said something that has stuck with me the past couple months. She said that the point of life is survival. And since my body is internally destroying itself, I might need to weigh my current symptoms with the possible side effects. Life sometimes presents us with bad and worse and we get to make a choice and hope for the best outcome. So that's what I'm doing. Its not that I'm compromising...I'm just doing what I need to do to survive. 'Cause man, living with this constant pain is crippling. 

Sidetrack- Ya know how people tend to hold painful areas when injured? I was thinking it would be great if I did this. I would be constantly grabbing my butt. Hahaha

Making this decision hasn't been as easy one. Especially since I opted to have my guts removed last year, so I would never have to be on this highly expensive drug! Also, injecting an immune suppressing serum into the body isn't a regular thing for most people. 

Getting the process going to start taking it has been a real headache. I've spent at least 6 hours on the phone with insurance companies, specialty pharmacies and doctors. In my experience its easier to get pre-authorized to have a major organ removed than get approval to start taking a super drug such as this! Does that seem completely backwards to anyone else? 

So here I am, ready to do the thing I've tried so hard to avoid for so many years.  Its not the end of the world though. If we only did things we KNEW were safe, we would never drive a car, never leave our house, never live life! We aren't supposed to live life in the “what if” zone. That would pretty much be a paralyzing way to live.  

For example, check out The Lonely Island's hillarious video, "YOLO" - bahaha!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5Otla5157c

Yes, this drug can seem overwhelming, but I realize it can also help me. Prayers are welcome that this medicine will help, not hinder; that it will heal, not harm.

There are no promises with these types of

 dilemmas, but there is a loving God who promises to

 walk with me through it all.